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Since I finished the week of Chiric Sanango's diet I was asked to write a testimony of my experience with this plant, sharing it with others. I've been waiting to do it for some time now.. for the right mood, the appropriate state of mind.. cause describing something of this kind to people who haven't experience it is not easy. There are moments in which words don't seem to belong to the same world of the things they try to describe.. and so it happens with plant diets and ayahuasca realms. One full moon cycle has passed since I started the diet, and I am now standing at 4000 meters, sitting in a rock glancing at a majestic and luminous lake, inbetween bright blue clear skies and their reflections over magical waters. Colibris flying around the cliff's flowers remind me of Nixipae¡s logo and give me the drive to sit down and write about this last month's happenings. First of all - the beginning: the idea of this diet "started" in a period of great changes and uncertainties, about myself and my place in the life I was living. I already knew Fernando's healing work with ayahuasca, and motivated by the need and willingness to change, to find new directions to follow - more oriented with the heart's calling - I decided to go to Peru and meet him. I felt the jungle was the perfect place for some more continuous and oriented work, and after reading some plant diet's descriptions at the website I opted for Chiric Sanango. It was one month ago that I got to Puerto Maldonado, and that same day, along with my diet companions, we iniciated the diet with the first of a series of ayahuasca ceremonies. I also arrived at the jungle in the company of some personal fears, fears that after listening to Fernando's introduction and explanations were soon transformed into respect...for the plants themselves, for the spirit worlds, and grateful for the gift that being able to contact their knowledge felt like. The first ceremony served as a reminder of old lessons, a heart opening experience, once again. Living in a city environment of modern life burocracies and responsabilities, needs and obligations tends to close-off one's heart, while at the same time increases the sense of carefulness and seriousness. That gentle, loving and opening ceremony brought me back to a more receptive and welcoming mood, much required for the early morning after, the time in which we took chiric sanango for the first time. Around seven in the morning, I drank it and half an hour later started experiencing the described effects: the cold, numbness stretching through the body. The lack of balance. Some disiness and loss of strenght. And then I went to sleep, fearing that in my dreams I would meet nightmarish scenarios, waking up full of hard to deal with "realities"... But, as always, things tend not to go the way we think they will, and so, luckily, this wasn't at all the way it happened. Sometimes the world surprises us, and the diet week was one of them. So, instead of the hard, difficult and sometimes terrifying week I was fearing, what I found was very different. Indeed, something we so often search and hope for: an almost unbelievably natural and perfect place, outside time's existence and control! A space free from the passage of days, hours, and sometimes even minutes. A space free from responsabilities, duties and worries, where all you have to do is persevere, just staying present, being there, withstanding the isolation and following the diet's rules, day after day, and night after night. And there I stayed, in an almost too comfortable caban, immersed in an absolute peace, for that one week. Seven days.. even though time and days have a very different meaning when you are dieting, cut off from the outside worlds, where everything that exists is yourself, your thoughts, feelings and emotions. In there, feeling outside of the world, and being guided by Chiric Sanango's and madre Ayahuasca's wise and powerful ways, one feels one has all the time in the world, to confront oneself with what one went there to be confronted with in the first place. And so I started seeing fears and doubts, dircovering strenghts and weaknesses.. joys and wisdom. .. Days going by, two more takes of Chiric Sanango, and there I was, reexperiencing the same effects, which were, by the way, quite moderate and bearable. Plus one more day, and another day, and another one... plus dreams and more dreams, so strange, healing and insightful. Plus thoughts, lots of thoughts, and intuitions.. all popping up throughout the days and nights, of open blue skies, or powerful and brief, heavy clowds, carrying the sounds of tropical storms. All of this taking place in colourful green worlds, in the midst of the constant forest sound-mix, of birds, insects, animals, plant leaves, wind, rain and spirits. And with the constant support and guidance of Fernando and Kuitzi. Their big hearts and smiles, full of light and humbleness, knowledge, respect and wiseness, were always there, visible and invisible, ready to help whenever necessary. At the end of the week, one more ceremony, to close the diet.. and to slowly - very slowly - start coming back to the real world reality. And there I understood that the process did not start with the diet, nor did it end with it.. but it continues. With more clarity now. The visions goes further and deeper. The perceptions and the senses awakened, the energy radiates, while the body and soul feel healed, strenghtened, ready to keep walking, absorving the teachings and trying not to forget the lessons. One month has passed now, and just today I could look back and analyse, all the changes and the redirecting of goals and path. Looking back now, my balance is highly positive. It ended up not being as difficult and hard as I had thought, nor as obvious and direct as I would have wanted.. reminding that we can be helped and guided, but the work remains there to be done, and the road is something we build it ourselves along the way. So, having already shared this, I still have a 4000 meters high smile left to share, with all of you who are reading this, and I wish you all the best in case you decide to try taking one of these steps. I end by recomending making a diet to all of you who feel something calling inside, a curiosity or an itching inside to do it. It is truly worthwhile and I think there are not many places with such good conditions to temporarily withdraw from the world and spend some time in such a dreamy space. Thank you jungle, thank you plants, thank you Kuitzi and Fernando for sharing so much. Thanks for the opportunity to learn from such ancient and wise sources* (last note - Even though is still early to know, something tells me that this experience completely realign my direction, and it will probably take some more years for me to understand more fully and deeply just how much I received. ) Andre (Portugal), february 2009. |